Yesterday was our 3 year dating anniversary! It was a very chaotic day for both of us. I had to travel to Fayetteville for work and Nick had a job interview from 9:45 until 2. My day did not get off to a great start. The fog was very thick at 6:45 when I left my house so I could hardly see and with battling with my GPS, trying to use windshield wipers and defrost to see, and trying not to crash the State car, I was not positive the day would turn out as planned. After figuring out I was going the wrong way, North instead of South, I was anxious to get to Fayetteville on time. It's amazing to me how a GPS tells you to turn the wrong way when it's suppose to direct you to your destination. I think our GPS frequently does that because it really often loses signal. Moving on to when my day got better - Nick and I met up at Firebirds in North Hills for dinner to celebrate our anniversary! We were both dressed up and relieved and excited to see each other. My day was crazy and not how I had planned the day to go and Nick was relieved to have the interview behind him so when we finally saw each other (1.5 hours after we planned on meeting up) we were excited. Dinner was good. We used a gift card we received as a wedding present. In 3 years of being together I must say I have learned a lot - a lot about life, a lot about myself and about Nick, and a lot about relationships. Here's just a few things I've learned in the last 3 years. 1) Never go to bed angry! This has been a hard lesson for us to learn and we still have not mastered it. When I go to bed angry I always have a bad dream and it usually involves us breaking up or him cheating on me. Needless to say gong to bed angry makes for a very bad morning. After a bad dream like that, I wake up feeling even more angry than the night before. Anger can grow over time if the conflict is not resolved. That brings me to my next lesson. 2) It's important to learn how to settle arguments. Nick likes to retreat and take a breather when he's angry or frustrated. Me on the other hand wants attention to be drawn to the conflict right away. I don't want to retreat, I want to talk it out right then. If I'm upset, frustrated, sad, or angry I want to talk it out and very quickly reach a compromise and feel better. If someone hurts my feelings, I want to be over it really quickly so I want the person that hurt me to apologize right away so I can feel better. Everyone has their own way of resolving conflict. For me it's important that we reach a compromise or agree to disagree. I also need to hear "I'm sorry." 3) It's important to learn your partner's love language. Nick and I both love to receive quality time. At this point with no kids it's easy to make time for one another. We have date nights where we watch a redbox movie, play board games, or go out to eat. We like cooking together and watching movies. I also need to hear words of affirmation to know that I am loved. This can be hard for Nick since it's not natural for a guy to express his feelings. We are really good at telling each other that we appreciate each other and we very often say "I love you." To make it easier on Nick, almost every night before we go to sleep I ask "what was your favorite thing about today?" I ask because usually the answer makes me feel good and it lets me know whether or not he's satisfied with the quality time for the day or if we didn't get to spend any time together. 4) Communication is learned. I thought I knew how to communicate before we got married but now I'm starting to think I had no clue! Looking back now it's kinda funny but when we first got married there were many times our lack of communication was obvious! One day we left the apartment to go see a couch from off Craiglist. We had taken money out of the bank to buy the couch but when we got about 5 miles away, I asked, "did you bring the money?" And Nick answered, "no I thought you grabbed it." I hadn't grabbed the money and I hadn't asked him to bring it. It really made me laugh that neither one of us thought to ask the other about the money until after we left. We are becoming better communicators. I'm learning to never assume that something is a given or of course he would think of that because I would. No, Nick does not think like me and I shouldn't expect him to. And my last lesson to you is pray together. Nick and I were really good about praying together when we first started dating but as time went on and we got busy and more comfortable in our relationship, praying together became less of a priority. I'm ashamed to say that but it's the truth. Since we've been married prayer is a bigger priority for us. We try really hard to do our devotional together and pray together before bed. It doesn't always happen, but we try. The biggest thing is not forgetting and not letting excuses, like I'm too tired, get in the way. Simply by praying together you are brought closer together. Prayer also makes it easier for me to trust God.
I am extremely thankful that God brought us together 3 years ago!
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