I was looking over my old blog postings & realized that everything on the list of "this kind of guy," Nick has, he is that guy! Nick walks me to my car, he believes in my dreams, he holds me when I'm sad, he frequently gives me his jacket when I'm cold, he loves cuddling, he tells me his secrets, and he holds my hand whenever I want.
How God brought Nick & I together is very simple, but interknit & amazing at the same time! I was 1 of those girls who always had a crush on a guy & was always chasing after them until March of 2007 when God made some changes in me! That February I made a horrible decision to restore an old friendship, that decision led to me down a road of darkness, shame, & depression. I was seeking comfort & "love" from the wrong kind of guy. This guy did not respect me & did not care about me, but I still wanted to be around him because I felt safe, I was protected from any harm. In March God brought me to a point where I was fed up with this guy & with myself so I decided that I deserved better, a better guy, so I made a list of everything I wanted my husband to have. I realized that I had given my heart away too muh & too easily to the wrong guys so I made a ommittment with God to give Him my summer. I agreed to not pursue any guys that summer & I asked God to not let me like any guys & to prepare me for my husband. During the summer God did a lot! There were nights where I stayed awake for hours battling with God, asking Him to take away any feelings, any memories, and any thoughts of guys that would not matter in my future. For the first time in my life, I started to think about my husband & not just here & there, but I thought about him everyday! God made me thankful for every guy in my past & gave me peace about every situation I had been through. Also during this time, I was hanging out with Nick. We had seen each other around church & knew a little bit about each other, but we weren't good friends. That summer we hung out quite a bit & just enjoyed each other's company as brothers & sisters in Christ. I never once looked at Nick as anything more than a friend & I didn't even analyze how he acted around me.
It wasn't until the night before I was to leave the next morning for my last semester at Western that I thought, "I'm gonna miss Nick" & I remember thinking, "I only feel that way because we spent some much time together this summer, I'll be fine." Well I spent the next day trying to figure out where I was going to live that semester & as I was driving up Black Mountain, listening to my Rascal Flatts, "Feels Like Today" CD, when it hit me like a ton of bricks, I yelled out, "CRAP I LIKE HIM!!!" We spent about a month sharing our thoughts about dating each other & about 2 weeks in prayer before we started dating on September 16th, 2007! I never once thought God would give me such an awesome love story to tell & I don't know why I ever thought that, because God is so powerful & amazing that He can turn water into wine!
Going through this experience there are so many things that I walked away being thankful for: 1) God's love for me. While I was a dead in sin, He loved me enough to send His Son to die for me so that I might live & have eternal life with Christ., 2) God restoring my heart, 3) God allowing me not to like Nick until the time was right & with that, God gave me the right intentions for wanting to spend time with Nick., and 4) God being my strength during temptations when I was at my weakest & thought there was no way out. I still remind myself of these things on a regular basis & I can never give God enough for them! I can only give God all the praise & glory for it all!
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