A Beautiful Song!

"No One Like You" by David Crowder Band

You are more beautiful
Than anyone ever
Everyday You're the same
You never change, no never

And how could I ever deny
The love of my Savior
You are to me everything
All I need forever

How could You be so good to me?

There is no one like You
There has never ever been anyone like You

Everywhere You are there
Earth or air surrounding
I'm not alone, the heavens sing along
My God You're so astounding
How could You be so good to me
Eternally I believe that'

You, You, You, You, You, You

How could You be so good to me?
How could You be so good to me?
We're not alone, so sing along
We're not alone, so sing along, sing along, sing along

There is no one like You
There has never been anyone like You
There is no one like You
There has never been anyone like You
There his no one like our God, yeah

my God blessed me

"Wait for the man who pursues you, the kind of man who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better woman. Wait for the man who praises God for you, and encourages you daily in your walk...and most importantly, wait for the man who is more in love with God than with you."

Amen!!! I could not have said it better myself! It's such an incredible thing once you find a guy that does all that & more! Ladies, just trust me when I say, it's worth the wait! Don't be like me & waste your time with losers that don't love the Lord or even love you enough to respect & honor your walk with Him by guarding your heart & watching their actions with you! The one that prays for you, feeds you Truth, praises God with you, respects you as a child of God, and encourages you daily in your walk with Him is worth waiting for! Don't be careless about who you spend time with because when you finally meet someone special, the one guy that does care about you more than any of the losers ever have, it will be extremely difficult to explain to them why you wasted your time with other guys besides him! Just think about the relationship you're in or the one you want to be in & ask yourself, "does he build me up as a sister in Christ & does he love God more than he loves me?" Maybe I'm alone in saying this, but all of those things are important to me & without a "yes" to a guy having all of those qualities, I'm not going to waste my time!

Hit me up with some thoughts or comments!

changes

God has been doing so much in my life lately! This summer God started doing some pretty amazing things & I definitely took notice of that, but now it's cool to see how the things He started doing & working on in me & in my life now fit together with what's been going on recently! Ok I'll share just a little bit, so this summer God called me to be single & to not even pursue any guys, well to my surprise it was not a difficult task for me! I was able to make it through the summer without having any feelings for any guys & it was not even an issue for me to be single! God used my time of being single this summer & being focused solely on me & Him to change me, reveal things to me, and now I'm a completely new person! God used my singleness to call me back to Him, He restored my relationship with Him & I know that was His plan for that time & He put it into action the moment I decided to obey His wishes for me to be single for the summer! I cannot begin to express how much God has done in my life & how much He is currently doing in my life, it's just amazing....I'm speechless. A great line from a song by Shane & Shane expresses what happened to me this summer the best it goes, "this harden heart, You soften every part."

I hope that having written this blog though it's brief & a bit vague, that you will find encouragement in the fact that 1) God never gives up on us even when we're so far gone that we can't fanthom a way to get back with Him & 2) God is so incredibly faithful & loving that when you're obedient to Him, you can be sure that He will honor that & the rewards will be amazing!!!! I'll end with 1 of my favorite passages in the Bible, "We know that in ALL things God WORKS for the GOOD of those who love Him & have been called according to His purpose....If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" - Romans 8:28, 32

I Want This Kind of Guy

I found this on 1 of my friend's myspace blog & I liked it so here you go:

To every guy that regrets hurting her.

To every guy who knows which girl he wants.

To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."

To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give their jacket up.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for ten minutes.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. (Do they really exist??)

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that wasn't just trying to get laid.

To every guy that actually listened.

To every guy that wasn't sure if she liked him back but asked her anyway.

To every guy that gave his heart only to have it shoved back in his face.

TO EVERY GUY THAT PRAYS THAT SHE IS HAPPY EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT WITH HER.

This one is for you...

Not all girls appreciate nice guys.

It's always cloudy except for when you look into the past

"Smoke" by Ben Folds Five

Leaf by leaf and page by page
throw this book away
All the sadness all the rage
throw this book away
Rip out the binding and tear the
glue
all of the grief we never even
knew
we had it all along
Now it's Smoke
The things we've written in it
never really happened
All the things we've written in it
never really happened
All the people come and
gone
never really lived
All the people come have gone
no one to forgive
Smoke

CHORUS
We will not write a new one
there will not be a new one
another one another one

here's and evening dark with
shame
throw it on the fire
here's the time I took the
blame
throw it on the fire
Here's the time we didn't speak
it seemed for years and years and
here's a secret
no one will ever know the
reasons for the tears
they are smoke

CHORUS
Where do all the secrets live
they travel in the air
you can smell them when
they burn
they travel
Those who say the past is
not dead
can stop and smell the smoke
you keep saying the past is
not dead
well stop and smell the smoke
you keep on saying the past is
not even past and
you keep on saying
we are, Smoke

Recently I have been faced with having to deal with some things that I did last semester that really hurt me on so many levels. Not only have I been having to deal with the regret I have for having done these things, but I am also having to deal with the undenyable fact that certain people, people I thought were my best friends & could trust, talking about all of it behind my back. A few days ago, before I moved back up to school, I had my brother make me a CD of all the Ben Folds Five songs I like & the song above just fits sooooo perfectly with what I have been feeling about the whole situation! The past is the past, whether it be 2 weeks ago or 2 years ago, it's still the past! In my situation of my last semester, I deem all of it as being the past because I no longer have anything to do with those things nor do I struggle with them being out of my life! I know that my God has forgiven me for falling short of His glory in the sins that I committed last semester & for me that's all I need! I do not care what other people think about my past or how it may have caused them to view me differently than before, all I care about is what God thinks about me! I do not need nor desire the approval of man, I desire the love that God has lavished on me despite the hurt I have caused Him. I don't like that my friends deemed it their place to talk about my life behind my back nor do I like them judging me for the things I have chosen to do with my life because I do not need acceptance or approval from them! All I would like to say to them is this: while you were busy gossiping about my life, things I shared with you in private & trusted you to keep private, have been burnt & thrown away!

My God is so BIG, so STRONG & so MIGHTY!

I made it through my first week of interning!!!! For those of you who don't know yet, I am working for the ABCCM Women & Children Homeless Shelter in downtown Asheville 4 days a week, 30 hours a week! ABCCM stands for Asheville Buncombe Community Christian Ministry& they are federally funded by grants & by 200 churches! The Shelter houses 27 single women & 7 families (moms with kids). The Shelter has a really awesome program that has helped tons of women get back on their feet & into the working world! If you are from or live in the western part of North Carolina & have never heard of ABCCM, I encourage you to look them up! My first week as an intern at ABCCM was amazing! See I interviewed for the job back in April & after I left from the interview like literally walking out to my car, I knew without any doubt in my mind that God was calling me to accept their offer to have me as their intern in the fall! I called my mom right when I got in my car & told her how amazing the experience was to interview with such Godly women! But see it wasn't long until the Devil got a hold of my excitement & turned it into doubt. Though I knew that God was wanting me to work at ABCCM in the fall, I still found myself worrying about it this summer....I would think, "oh gosh what if I took the easy way out by agreeing to work with the homeless, a group I've worked with before...maybe I was suppose to work in a school with kids like I'm scared about doing." When I found myself having thoughts like these, I always managed to find reassurance & comfort in the fact that God does not make mistakes & my feelings of the presence of God in that place were real so I have nothing to worry about! So let me tell you about my week! Today was by far my favorite day there so far because I realized that I know a good number of the women by name now & some of them are even starting to come to me for help with stuff....ok not big stuff but just questions like, "can you let me into the supply closet?" or "have you seen Nicole?" but before today they would just walk right by me or just ignore me while I'm sitting right there in the room! I guess I also realized today that I'm actually helping these ladies in a small way, but none the less helping. I got to cook lunch today for the ladies & that was fun! I like cooking! The ladies were so appreciate of me for making them lunch, which felt really good to serve them! This week I have also gotten to hear several of the women share their struggles, like not getting approved for Section 8 housing, not getting their Medicaid yet, still trying to find a job, not getting custody of their kids, etc. Though the stories are sad, it's really been cool hearing them be so open about their lives to us social workers! I just love people...I am most happiest when I'm around people & man helping people is like my number 1 passion!!!! I love the feeling of someone else needing me, it's like what I thrive off of! I'm really looking forward to getting to know these women more as I continue to work with them every week! Gosh I know some amazing & awesome things are going to happen in the next few months with me working there! Since it's only been 4 days and these women are already dear to my heart, I ask that you please keep them in your prayers as I share bits & pieces of their lives with you! That's all for now folks!

Just Stinkin Amazing

Ahhhh.....it feels so good to sit down & write down my thoughts! So the summer is over & I'm really sad about that but at the same time I'm glad because it means I'm closer to graduating!!! This summer was way different than I thought it was going to be, which is a good thing! I went into my summer thinking that I was going to hate it. My exact thoughts were, "man I'm having to take classes all summer, this is gonna suck!" Well to my surprise, my classes turned out to be not that bad....I actually enjoyed them! It was nice having class with people that during any regular semester I would not have met but because it was summer school & people tend to take elective courses, I did. When everyone left & went home for the summer I was really bummed & I had no clue how I was going to cope with being away from home, away from friends, and without my busy schedule that I love so much but to my surprise, the months flew by & things were not as bad as I had imagined them to be. I got to home quite a bit & hang out with people there more than I had expected to. There were many other surprises that came with this summer, some good, some bad.

Oh I almost forgot to mention the greatest thing that happened this summer! Ok so my brother started treating me better than he ever has! My brother has always verbalized his hatred towards me & this summer he baked me some brownies for my birthday, he told me to stay away from this guy who was being a jerk to me, he made me 2 CDs when I asked him to, and many more amazing things! It has been so neat & amazing to see how God has answered my prayer & the prayers of my friends for my brother to treat me better & to really see just how much I love & care about him! Growing up I always wanted to do everything with my brother & so I followed him around quite a bit....oh those were the good ole days! But when I became a Christian my life really started to change & since my brother & I were so close, he took notice more than anyone & he didn't like it. Over the years it has been emotionally tough on me to see a strong friendship with him turn into one of acquaintance. Nothing hurts more than having your older brother hate you because of the changes God has made on you & the impact Christ has had on your life when everyone else around you is rejoicing with you. Needless to say, I am more than thrilled, more than excited, more than happy to see my brother & I become friends again! I think he may actually even love me! I am so in awe by how God works & how His time is flawless! The new bound that my brother & I have formed could not have come at a better time.

One major thing I've been learning lately is that the past is the past no matter how short or how long ago it was & you should never let anyone make you believe differently or let someone hold your past against you. Truthfully, when it comes down to it, God knows our past, our future, & our present before we even do & He has already sent His Son to pay the price for the mistakes we will make, we have made, & are currently making so don't ever allow someone to make you feel like you have to live in those mistakes like you're in bondage to them because you're not! Don't get me wrong, God wants us to confess our sins to Him & ask for His help in repenting from them so with that He doesn't want us to dwell in our mistakes & beat ourselves up about whatever it is because that's not walking in His forgiveness that He freely gives us in Christ.

Ok so I don't know how to end this massive book I have created so I'm just gonna say.......Colorado is an amazing place, you should go there sometime!