Monday, November 01, 2010
Getting Away from the World's View of Christmas
Halloween came and went. Can't believe it's already November. We didn't have a single trick-or-treater come to our house. We bought 3 bags of candy for the occasion and now we are stuck eating all of it by ourselves, it will be hard, but we're up for the task. I think eating a piece of chocolate for lunch and dinner over the next few days will ensure all the candy gets eaten before the holidays. Speaking of the holidays, I am really excited about Christmas. I get excited about Christmas every year, but this year is different. Not only will it be our first married Christmas, but it will also be our first Christmas in our house! Trust me when I say we are already looking for "first Christmas together" and "our first house" ornaments to mark the occasion. I am looking forward to Christmas morning that feeling of being with the one you love. We are not planning on getting each other much for Christmas, we have already set our price limit and most people would probably disagree with our low price limit. We are not big on giving gifts, in fact, I would rather not get anything for Christmas. This year has been a whirlwind of celebrations for us and with those celebrations we have received lots of gifts from friends and family members. I probably couldn't tell you who gave us what as wedding gifts or housewarming gifts, but I can tell you that with every gift we became more humble and aware of the fact that there are thousands of people in the world that don't receive gifts, not on their birthday, wedding day, and not even on Christmas. We live in a world that is obsessed with consumption and materialism. Just take a glimpse on social network sites and it's easy to find out what someone had for breakfast, what someone wants for Christmas, how they love their new iPhone, or how they can't wait to fill their house with Christmas decorations. What would happen if all of our material processions were striped away from us? Would we know how to just be with friends and family? What happened to the old days when just sitting around and talking with people was enough? I don't have all the answers to these questions. Just something for us all to ponder. How will you spend your Christmas? We will celebrate Christmas by reflecting on all that God has given us. God has given us unconditional love and forgiveness of sins. God made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could know what true love and grace is.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Being Negative
Hey Ya'll!
It's been on my heart the past 24-36 hours to write a post about being real, being Christian.
Mel and I have learned a lot in the past 3 years about Christianity, well let me rephrase that. Churchism or Churchology
What do I mean? I mean we've learned how churches and groups within churches behave and think. Essentially the stereotype of churches and church groups has been verified and shown to us.
Where do I start? Well, I'll go back to about 3 years ago when the Recession started to hit the church we were attending. I was on the Missions and Evangelism Council as the Technology person for the purpose of helping gear the website to my generation as an outreach. I was invited to 2 council meetings, after the second one I was never invited back. Why? Because I spoke up in opposition, well I wasn't afraid to say what everyone was thinking. Who else truly agreed with cutting our budget by 25%-50% while giving all paid staff a 4% raise? (We're talking 15-20 salaries!!!!!)
During Sunday School sessions we would openly disagree with people, with an understanding of it being okay to agree to disagree. We would even be real with many answers we gave concerning the Church's perception to the world, worldly views on Christian matters, etc... And the more we were real, the more ostracized we became.
Is compromising your opinions, beliefs, or personality worth having more friends? For us, the answer is simple, no. We stand by our beliefs and opinions and we are proud of who God has made us to be so no, we will not change ourselves to have more friends. We do not look for acceptance from people, we look for acceptance and love from God. The only motive, the right motive, for us to change will be from God. No person, Christian or non-Christian can make us change our beliefs, opinions, or personality.
Recently we told our old Sunday School class we were going to be looking for a new church, one closer to our house, but we thought we still had friends there. I expected to stop getting communications about events and invitations. Sure enough, it happened immediately, but yet the class still said they were inviting and wanted people outside their group to go to events......... hrmmmmmmm we haven't transferred membership yet, so technically we're still members. So explain that one to me....
Well, the straw that broke the camel's back happened extremely recently. I won't go into details but it was quite interesting hearing how one person could invite their outside friends to events, but when we wanted to and did it was a shock that someone was inviting "outsiders". Double standard there if you ask me.
I'm ranting now, but all this has confirmed to me that church and church groups like it when everyone just blindly nods their heads and agree. Nobody understands/knows how to handle real people. Real people who say what the mean, mean what they say, tell the truth (even the ugly truth). It's one thing to be a Christian, hope in the Lord, and believe every Christian thinks and acts like you. It's another to be a Christian, hope in the Lord, and be real in knowing you're unique and it's okay to disagree.
What type of Christian are you? Real or stereotype? Sure it's easy to say real, but seriously study yourself, do you expect all Christians to behave like you, think like you, agree with you?
Anyways, so I'm not writing a completely "negative" post I'll leave with some good news.
Ever since middle school I've had a desire to use my R/C hobby to the benefit of God's Kingdom. I've always wondered if a Christian group existed within the R/C world. Well, last week I accidentally discovered such a group does exist! After reading their website (http://www.fcmodelers.com/fcmindex.htm) I joined. I got my member package yesterday and am stoked! We lead devotions at R/C events, offer prayer while at events, and have a huge email list for prayer requests. Even though the membership is free and I got a great T-shirt for free, I just feel and know this is going to be a great group. This completely confirms what I taught my RAs at church, we are missionaries at home doing what we like to do.
Well, this is a huge post and probably makes no sense at all.
Hasta Luego,
NT
It's been on my heart the past 24-36 hours to write a post about being real, being Christian.
Mel and I have learned a lot in the past 3 years about Christianity, well let me rephrase that. Churchism or Churchology
What do I mean? I mean we've learned how churches and groups within churches behave and think. Essentially the stereotype of churches and church groups has been verified and shown to us.
Where do I start? Well, I'll go back to about 3 years ago when the Recession started to hit the church we were attending. I was on the Missions and Evangelism Council as the Technology person for the purpose of helping gear the website to my generation as an outreach. I was invited to 2 council meetings, after the second one I was never invited back. Why? Because I spoke up in opposition, well I wasn't afraid to say what everyone was thinking. Who else truly agreed with cutting our budget by 25%-50% while giving all paid staff a 4% raise? (We're talking 15-20 salaries!!!!!)
During Sunday School sessions we would openly disagree with people, with an understanding of it being okay to agree to disagree. We would even be real with many answers we gave concerning the Church's perception to the world, worldly views on Christian matters, etc... And the more we were real, the more ostracized we became.
Is compromising your opinions, beliefs, or personality worth having more friends? For us, the answer is simple, no. We stand by our beliefs and opinions and we are proud of who God has made us to be so no, we will not change ourselves to have more friends. We do not look for acceptance from people, we look for acceptance and love from God. The only motive, the right motive, for us to change will be from God. No person, Christian or non-Christian can make us change our beliefs, opinions, or personality.
Recently we told our old Sunday School class we were going to be looking for a new church, one closer to our house, but we thought we still had friends there. I expected to stop getting communications about events and invitations. Sure enough, it happened immediately, but yet the class still said they were inviting and wanted people outside their group to go to events......... hrmmmmmmm we haven't transferred membership yet, so technically we're still members. So explain that one to me....
Well, the straw that broke the camel's back happened extremely recently. I won't go into details but it was quite interesting hearing how one person could invite their outside friends to events, but when we wanted to and did it was a shock that someone was inviting "outsiders". Double standard there if you ask me.
I'm ranting now, but all this has confirmed to me that church and church groups like it when everyone just blindly nods their heads and agree. Nobody understands/knows how to handle real people. Real people who say what the mean, mean what they say, tell the truth (even the ugly truth). It's one thing to be a Christian, hope in the Lord, and believe every Christian thinks and acts like you. It's another to be a Christian, hope in the Lord, and be real in knowing you're unique and it's okay to disagree.
What type of Christian are you? Real or stereotype? Sure it's easy to say real, but seriously study yourself, do you expect all Christians to behave like you, think like you, agree with you?
Anyways, so I'm not writing a completely "negative" post I'll leave with some good news.
Ever since middle school I've had a desire to use my R/C hobby to the benefit of God's Kingdom. I've always wondered if a Christian group existed within the R/C world. Well, last week I accidentally discovered such a group does exist! After reading their website (http://www.fcmodelers.com/fcmindex.htm) I joined. I got my member package yesterday and am stoked! We lead devotions at R/C events, offer prayer while at events, and have a huge email list for prayer requests. Even though the membership is free and I got a great T-shirt for free, I just feel and know this is going to be a great group. This completely confirms what I taught my RAs at church, we are missionaries at home doing what we like to do.
Well, this is a huge post and probably makes no sense at all.
Hasta Luego,
NT
Monday, October 18, 2010
Fighting to Save our Dream Home
So I'm being told it's been a long time since I put an entry in the blog. So I need to type something. This is my something.....
Well, honestly I don't have too much to talk about that Melanie hasn't mentioned already. Last week I was off between jobs, but it wasn't as productive as I had hoped it would be. Spending 3 days dealing with the car search and finalizing the papers with the insurance company contributed to the lack of productivity.
Perhaps the most significant update is that we may be at risk of losing our house, our dream house. We found out via a nice, caring neighbor that the NC Turnpike Authority is considering at least 2 new alternatives to the I-540 Southern Expressway. Apparently the original route (orange route) that has been protected for about 20 years is no longer sufficient for the Turnpike Authority. Last week they informed the public that they are considering two new alternatives (blue and purple routes) that take 540 further south. After studying the maps and the paper work, if the blue route is chosen we'd lose our house and the entire neighborhood we live in would be demolished.
Let me explain a little bit more. At this point the NC Turnpike Authority is informing the public of their intent to choose one of the two new alternative routes to study further and compare it to the original route's impact. The decision will be made in November. So during this time the NC Turnpike is asking for our feedback as to which route will be the best route. They'll read every comment and then make the decision. After the decision of which route to study is made, they'll study the impact of putting the road in, but won't make a decision about construction until 2013 with starting construction in 2013.
Needless to say, we were very pissed off because these routes were not posted anywhere until the last week or two so we couldn't have known when we bought the house.
Please, join our fight by submitting your feedback. Visit http://www.ncturnpike.org/projects/southeast/contact.asp and tell them you don't want your friends and family to lose their houses!
Unfortunately we only have until October 22nd to submit feedback. Help us save our house and home!!!!!!!
We'll keep you updated on our fight.
Despite the anger, I channeled it to finish cutting down a tree in the front yard. My parents came down and help Saturday with some yard work. My dad helped me replace the mailbox post. It's amazing how much difference a nice, clean looking mailbox post makes! While Dad was helping me, Mom and Melanie were digging up the HUGE juniper bush in the front yard. At the end of the day we got 3/4 of the bush dug up and Dad also helped me start clearing out the clogged culvert pip under the driveway. During our efforts on the bush, we had 2 neighbors stop by and thank us for digging up the bush and for actually caring for our house and property. These comments only strengthened our believe that the previous owners didn't care to up keep their yard. We found so much random trash under the Juniper bush. Doing yard work in our yard is like going on a treasure hunt, you never know what you're going to find.
Well, that's enough about those adventures. I started my new job today and it's pretty exciting.
Well, that's it from me today.
-NT
Well, honestly I don't have too much to talk about that Melanie hasn't mentioned already. Last week I was off between jobs, but it wasn't as productive as I had hoped it would be. Spending 3 days dealing with the car search and finalizing the papers with the insurance company contributed to the lack of productivity.
Perhaps the most significant update is that we may be at risk of losing our house, our dream house. We found out via a nice, caring neighbor that the NC Turnpike Authority is considering at least 2 new alternatives to the I-540 Southern Expressway. Apparently the original route (orange route) that has been protected for about 20 years is no longer sufficient for the Turnpike Authority. Last week they informed the public that they are considering two new alternatives (blue and purple routes) that take 540 further south. After studying the maps and the paper work, if the blue route is chosen we'd lose our house and the entire neighborhood we live in would be demolished.
Let me explain a little bit more. At this point the NC Turnpike Authority is informing the public of their intent to choose one of the two new alternative routes to study further and compare it to the original route's impact. The decision will be made in November. So during this time the NC Turnpike is asking for our feedback as to which route will be the best route. They'll read every comment and then make the decision. After the decision of which route to study is made, they'll study the impact of putting the road in, but won't make a decision about construction until 2013 with starting construction in 2013.
Needless to say, we were very pissed off because these routes were not posted anywhere until the last week or two so we couldn't have known when we bought the house.
Please, join our fight by submitting your feedback. Visit http://www.ncturnpike.org/projects/southeast/contact.asp and tell them you don't want your friends and family to lose their houses!
Unfortunately we only have until October 22nd to submit feedback. Help us save our house and home!!!!!!!
We'll keep you updated on our fight.
Despite the anger, I channeled it to finish cutting down a tree in the front yard. My parents came down and help Saturday with some yard work. My dad helped me replace the mailbox post. It's amazing how much difference a nice, clean looking mailbox post makes! While Dad was helping me, Mom and Melanie were digging up the HUGE juniper bush in the front yard. At the end of the day we got 3/4 of the bush dug up and Dad also helped me start clearing out the clogged culvert pip under the driveway. During our efforts on the bush, we had 2 neighbors stop by and thank us for digging up the bush and for actually caring for our house and property. These comments only strengthened our believe that the previous owners didn't care to up keep their yard. We found so much random trash under the Juniper bush. Doing yard work in our yard is like going on a treasure hunt, you never know what you're going to find.
Well, that's enough about those adventures. I started my new job today and it's pretty exciting.
Well, that's it from me today.
-NT
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Another Fun Experience in Our Marriage
On Monday, September 27th I wrecked our car on the way to work. It was raining and since it hadn't rained in months, there were a lot of dumb, crazy drivers on the road that day. I collided with a mini van and thankfully their vehicle only had minor damage, my car on the other hand was deemed a total loss by our insurance company. Hours after the wreck, after the initial shock wore off, I was really excited about getting a newer vehicle. Here's just a short list of what was wrong with my car - the driver's side lock would not work so I had to unlock the car from the passenger side and walk around, the AC was broken, the cassette tape player did not work (no CD player either), the antenna did not retract like it was meant to, and tape was holding up one of the back windows. Aside from those minor "luxuries" the car was great! We bought it in January and we were really hoping it would last us 2-3 years, but it's obvious now that God had other plans. Starting our car search was fairly easy, we agreed on the make, model, and price and then we just searched on the Internet. I wanted to write this blog a few days ago, but then I thought I should wait until we successful bought a car so then I could share some car buying tips with you!
So here are my car buying tips -
1. Determine exactly what you're looking for. If you're an indecisive person like me, limit yourself to a type of car first and then determine the make and model you want. For us we knew we wanted an SUV and then we determined that we like Toyota so then determining what model was fairly easy.
2. Face the facts! Buying a vehicle is a big purchase, no matter how you pay for it, so it's important to like everything about the vehicle before you purchase it. Make sure you do all the research - look at crash test videos, consumer reviews, and see what different features are offered based on year and trim.
3. Know your price range and your price limit. The number 1 question a sales person will ask you is "what's your price range?" You can have your answer to that question and then your real answer that you don't share with sales people. It's no secret that sales people will ask your price range and then show you a car that is just out of reach of your price range so by telling them a lower price, you can feel happy once you look at a slightly higher priced car and secretly know that you can afford it. Look at your monthly expenses and determine what you can afford as monthly payments. Most interest rates are between 3.25-4.75% so play around with #s to determine your price range.
4. Don't be afraid to not answer questions and/or avoid questions that dealers or sales people ask you. For us we decided we would not tell them what we do, where we work, or that we had a possible trade in. Never ever tell them you have a trade in until after you have agreed on the price for the vehicle you're purchasing. We decided not to trade my car so there was no worry there. Know up front what answers you're going to give for tough questions. For example, a lot of dealers will ask you "what do you want your monthly payments to be?" Never ever answer this question! Even if you know you can't afford anything over $200 a month, do not tell them that! Once you tell them your limit on monthly payments, they will get you down to that figure but you pay more interest and more money because they got you down to your monthly payment. It's about overall price, not monthly payments.
4. Ask what the fees are up front! I cannot tell you how outrageous doc fees, dealer fees, and other made up fees are. If you don't ask up front then the sales person could make up the fees and you would never know it. By knowing what the fees are up front you can factor those figures into your negotiation of the sticker price. You could get $300 off the sticker price and think you're at your price limit and then find out you have to pay $900 in fees. In NC the law states that a dealer cannot collect a documentation fee if it is not disclosed on their website or posted in their building. If you do not see a posted sign disclosing what the doc fee is then call them out on it and stand by the fact that you will not pay a fee that is illegal for them to collect. You could always ask for your lawyer to be present, that would get their attention.
5. Negotiate - always negotiate, always negotiate. First rule of negotiating - never let the sales person know that you love the car. We became professional actors during our car search. The dealers could not read us and it was funny! As soon as you show that you love the car and have to have it, you have lost all negotiating power. So during test drives calm down your excitement and only make minimal comments. Before you start negotiating - do your homework beforehand. Find out the Fair Market Value for the vehicle - this figure is fairly accepted by dealers. Look at other dealerships for identical or similar vehicles at lower prices and print out the ad to bring with you. When it comes to actually negotiating the price - always start your offer with a figure that is lower than your maximum price limit. If you get the car for less than your maximum price, great! Once the sales person goes to show your offer to his manager - walk away! You heard me right, walk away. If you're inside, go outside and walk around the parking lot. By walking away and not waiting on pins and needles to hear if they've accepted your offer, you show that you don't have to have the car and you're open to actually walking away if the deal doesn't go your way. I highly suggest this move if your offer is way less than the sticker price. If you can't get them to come down on the price then find an identical vehicle at a lower price at their competitor's store and ask if they can match it or beat it. If that doesn't work then negotiate for a free extended warranty or even gas in the car. I strongly believe in not paying the sticker price so I would stand strong and walk away if they won't come down on the price.
6. If you're buying as a couple or if you take someone with you, don't argue in front of the sales person. If they see you argue then they'll think that you're not serious buyers and that they could sway you on the type of vehicle you're looking at.
And I almost forgot - always ask for the latest Carfax report. There may not be flood damage or accidents on the Carfax if the owner did not report it to their insurance company. Lots of drivers will hit someone from behind and since minimal damage was done to their vehicle they don't report it to their insurance company so inspect the car yourself. There was a car we wanted to see but after seeing that the vehicle was registered in Tennessee where there were some major floods we decided not to even look at the vehicle. Play it safe and trust your instincts, if you see touch up paint or see that the vehicle was registered where there was flooding then investigate further to make the smartest decision.
So here are my car buying tips -
1. Determine exactly what you're looking for. If you're an indecisive person like me, limit yourself to a type of car first and then determine the make and model you want. For us we knew we wanted an SUV and then we determined that we like Toyota so then determining what model was fairly easy.
2. Face the facts! Buying a vehicle is a big purchase, no matter how you pay for it, so it's important to like everything about the vehicle before you purchase it. Make sure you do all the research - look at crash test videos, consumer reviews, and see what different features are offered based on year and trim.
3. Know your price range and your price limit. The number 1 question a sales person will ask you is "what's your price range?" You can have your answer to that question and then your real answer that you don't share with sales people. It's no secret that sales people will ask your price range and then show you a car that is just out of reach of your price range so by telling them a lower price, you can feel happy once you look at a slightly higher priced car and secretly know that you can afford it. Look at your monthly expenses and determine what you can afford as monthly payments. Most interest rates are between 3.25-4.75% so play around with #s to determine your price range.
4. Don't be afraid to not answer questions and/or avoid questions that dealers or sales people ask you. For us we decided we would not tell them what we do, where we work, or that we had a possible trade in. Never ever tell them you have a trade in until after you have agreed on the price for the vehicle you're purchasing. We decided not to trade my car so there was no worry there. Know up front what answers you're going to give for tough questions. For example, a lot of dealers will ask you "what do you want your monthly payments to be?" Never ever answer this question! Even if you know you can't afford anything over $200 a month, do not tell them that! Once you tell them your limit on monthly payments, they will get you down to that figure but you pay more interest and more money because they got you down to your monthly payment. It's about overall price, not monthly payments.
4. Ask what the fees are up front! I cannot tell you how outrageous doc fees, dealer fees, and other made up fees are. If you don't ask up front then the sales person could make up the fees and you would never know it. By knowing what the fees are up front you can factor those figures into your negotiation of the sticker price. You could get $300 off the sticker price and think you're at your price limit and then find out you have to pay $900 in fees. In NC the law states that a dealer cannot collect a documentation fee if it is not disclosed on their website or posted in their building. If you do not see a posted sign disclosing what the doc fee is then call them out on it and stand by the fact that you will not pay a fee that is illegal for them to collect. You could always ask for your lawyer to be present, that would get their attention.
5. Negotiate - always negotiate, always negotiate. First rule of negotiating - never let the sales person know that you love the car. We became professional actors during our car search. The dealers could not read us and it was funny! As soon as you show that you love the car and have to have it, you have lost all negotiating power. So during test drives calm down your excitement and only make minimal comments. Before you start negotiating - do your homework beforehand. Find out the Fair Market Value for the vehicle - this figure is fairly accepted by dealers. Look at other dealerships for identical or similar vehicles at lower prices and print out the ad to bring with you. When it comes to actually negotiating the price - always start your offer with a figure that is lower than your maximum price limit. If you get the car for less than your maximum price, great! Once the sales person goes to show your offer to his manager - walk away! You heard me right, walk away. If you're inside, go outside and walk around the parking lot. By walking away and not waiting on pins and needles to hear if they've accepted your offer, you show that you don't have to have the car and you're open to actually walking away if the deal doesn't go your way. I highly suggest this move if your offer is way less than the sticker price. If you can't get them to come down on the price then find an identical vehicle at a lower price at their competitor's store and ask if they can match it or beat it. If that doesn't work then negotiate for a free extended warranty or even gas in the car. I strongly believe in not paying the sticker price so I would stand strong and walk away if they won't come down on the price.
6. If you're buying as a couple or if you take someone with you, don't argue in front of the sales person. If they see you argue then they'll think that you're not serious buyers and that they could sway you on the type of vehicle you're looking at.
And I almost forgot - always ask for the latest Carfax report. There may not be flood damage or accidents on the Carfax if the owner did not report it to their insurance company. Lots of drivers will hit someone from behind and since minimal damage was done to their vehicle they don't report it to their insurance company so inspect the car yourself. There was a car we wanted to see but after seeing that the vehicle was registered in Tennessee where there were some major floods we decided not to even look at the vehicle. Play it safe and trust your instincts, if you see touch up paint or see that the vehicle was registered where there was flooding then investigate further to make the smartest decision.
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
I Do
It's really been on my heart lately to write a blog about marriage. I know I briefly wrote about how my view of the level of difficulty of marriage has changed since getting married, but I'd like to vent a little about divorce. Why do people think that by getting married their spouse will change or that by getting married their circumstances will improve or that being married will make them happier?? Before Nick and I got married we had lots of discussion about our views on divorce and we came to the agreement that if we have major issues that come up, then we will exhaust every resource and we will both have to work to get out of the marriage. It seems that the seriousness behind the commitment of marriage has been lost. The media has presented marriage as a temporary thing. And it's so funny to watch movies that show a married couple waking up with smiles on their faces and full of passion for 1 another right when they wake up. Reality is that hitting the snooze button or discussing who is going to shower first or what bills need to be put in the mail that day are usually more likely to occur. I think the media has caused lots of people to have this glamorous idea of what marriage and love is about. I wish there were more shows out there that portrayed real couples dealing with everyday life. I am so blessed to have the peace behind my decision to marry Nick. There is no doubt in my mind that God wrote our love story and that He called us to be together. I feel very fortunate to have that assurance, I know not every married couple can say that. I also feel extremely blessed to have my best friend as my husband. Notice that I didn't say, my husband as my best friend. Nick was my best friend first and that is how our love began. I can and do tell him everything. Marriage is not about being in love, you fall in love first and then get married to express your commitment to that love. You may not always experience butterflies in your stomach or have sweet notes in your lunch box (like Nick does for me sometimes) but instead you believe in the love that you share and hold on to it when times get tough. I meant what I said, when I said "I do."
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Housing Buying Tips
Since we moved into our house back in June, we've had several friends approach us with questions about our house buying process. So I thought I would share a few of the tips we learned along the way!
1. Get pre-approved before you ever step foot into a potential house. It's very easy and painless to get pre-approved. Pre-approval does not mean loan approval, it means you have a price range to start your house hunt. You can get pre-approved by any bank or lender, it doesn't have to be from the bank or lender you're going to use.
2. Get a full-time realtor! I cannot stress this point enough! Believe me when I say, you want a full-time realtor! Even if your best friend in the whole wide world is a realtor and you want to use them as your realtor, if they're not full-time I would not recommend using them. I also strongly suggest using someone that has at least 2 years of experience in real estate. Our initial realtor was a friend of Nick's and was part-time and she was not dedicated at finding our first house.
3. Do NOT sign "exclusive rights to represent buyer" form. Realtors will try to make you sign this document even before they show you 1 property, but do not sign it! Wait to sign it seconds before you put in your first offer on a place. If you sign this document then you have to stick with that realtor and if you don't then you have to pay them money!
4. Ask the right questions. Don't be afraid to ask your realtor and lender thousands of questions. It's not everyday that you buy your first house so by all means take it seriously and ask every question you can think of! Here are some key questions to ask - what are the terms of my loan?, are there penalties for paying more on my loan from month-to-month?, can I change the term of my loan from 30 years to 15 years, years later?, do I have a transferable mortgage loan?, is it a fixed interest rate?, what are the terms to get out of contract with this property if I decide I no longer want to buy it?, what is earnest money?, and the list goes on and on!
5. Before you even meet with a realtor and after you have been pre-approved, I would highly suggest determining what price range you feel comfortable with. The lender will approve you for waaaay more than what you're comfortable with paying each month. We were approved for $100,000 more than what we ended up buying. It's very important to look at your budget and play around with #s to determine your price range. You also want to determine how much, if any, down payment are you going to put down. Here's a tip from our lender - for every thousand dollars you can account for $6 a month in mortgage costs. So for example, the difference in a $240,000 and a $230,000 house is $60 a month.
6. Once you decide you like a house, it's better than all the other ones you've seen, sleep on it and see the house for a second time, or third time before you put in an offer. I'm always amazed when I hear of people only seeing a house 1 time and before buying it. We saw our house 3 times before we put in an offer. It's also important to see the house at different times of the day. The same house might feel scary or weird at night but look and feel great during the day.
7. Research what future road construction plans are for the surrounding areas. Your realtor can help you find out that information. The first house we were under contract for had plans for 540 to go in at 1/4 a mile from our backyard. The last thing you want is to move in and then find out that a major highway is going in your backyard.
8. Make sure any updates or work that's been done on the house has been permitted and the permits are on file. Also, make sure all work done on the house has been paid. If a contractor has done the work and they have not been paid then you may want to consider walking away. The reason I say this is there could be a lean on the property and if your offer price does not cover the expenses then the contractor could come into your new home and rip out all the work he's done.
9. Put in your lowest offer first. Do not worry about offending the seller, if they are offended then you can always put in a second, higher offer. You can increase your offer but you can never go down in your offer so keep that in mind. You can also change the amount of closing costs your asking for and not go up on your offer price. Before putting in an offer ask your realtor to pull up comps in the area, this will help you determine if the asking price is way too high or just right.
10. Always have an inspection done on the house and be there when the inspection is taking place. Inspections can point out possible repairs or problems with the house. Inspections also allow you to learn about the house you're buying. Our inspector pointed out that we may want to consider putting locks on the crawl spaces for when kids come along. We never would have thought of that. Our inspector also pointed out the main cut off switches for our house.
11. Once you have the inspection report, review it, ask questions if you don't understand something, and negotiate with the sellers to fix all or some of the problems in the report. We asked the sellers of our house to fix 3 out of 5 things that the inspector pointed out. They were easy, very inexpensive repairs, but it saved us the time, trouble, and money to not have to fix it after we moved in.
12. This one may seem like common sense, but make your list of "must haves" and "would be nice but not deal breakers" lists prior to meeting with your realtor. These lists will really help your realtor find potential houses for you to look at.
There are lots of other tips I could share with you, but these are the main tips I think are important when buying a house.
1. Get pre-approved before you ever step foot into a potential house. It's very easy and painless to get pre-approved. Pre-approval does not mean loan approval, it means you have a price range to start your house hunt. You can get pre-approved by any bank or lender, it doesn't have to be from the bank or lender you're going to use.
2. Get a full-time realtor! I cannot stress this point enough! Believe me when I say, you want a full-time realtor! Even if your best friend in the whole wide world is a realtor and you want to use them as your realtor, if they're not full-time I would not recommend using them. I also strongly suggest using someone that has at least 2 years of experience in real estate. Our initial realtor was a friend of Nick's and was part-time and she was not dedicated at finding our first house.
3. Do NOT sign "exclusive rights to represent buyer" form. Realtors will try to make you sign this document even before they show you 1 property, but do not sign it! Wait to sign it seconds before you put in your first offer on a place. If you sign this document then you have to stick with that realtor and if you don't then you have to pay them money!
4. Ask the right questions. Don't be afraid to ask your realtor and lender thousands of questions. It's not everyday that you buy your first house so by all means take it seriously and ask every question you can think of! Here are some key questions to ask - what are the terms of my loan?, are there penalties for paying more on my loan from month-to-month?, can I change the term of my loan from 30 years to 15 years, years later?, do I have a transferable mortgage loan?, is it a fixed interest rate?, what are the terms to get out of contract with this property if I decide I no longer want to buy it?, what is earnest money?, and the list goes on and on!
5. Before you even meet with a realtor and after you have been pre-approved, I would highly suggest determining what price range you feel comfortable with. The lender will approve you for waaaay more than what you're comfortable with paying each month. We were approved for $100,000 more than what we ended up buying. It's very important to look at your budget and play around with #s to determine your price range. You also want to determine how much, if any, down payment are you going to put down. Here's a tip from our lender - for every thousand dollars you can account for $6 a month in mortgage costs. So for example, the difference in a $240,000 and a $230,000 house is $60 a month.
6. Once you decide you like a house, it's better than all the other ones you've seen, sleep on it and see the house for a second time, or third time before you put in an offer. I'm always amazed when I hear of people only seeing a house 1 time and before buying it. We saw our house 3 times before we put in an offer. It's also important to see the house at different times of the day. The same house might feel scary or weird at night but look and feel great during the day.
7. Research what future road construction plans are for the surrounding areas. Your realtor can help you find out that information. The first house we were under contract for had plans for 540 to go in at 1/4 a mile from our backyard. The last thing you want is to move in and then find out that a major highway is going in your backyard.
8. Make sure any updates or work that's been done on the house has been permitted and the permits are on file. Also, make sure all work done on the house has been paid. If a contractor has done the work and they have not been paid then you may want to consider walking away. The reason I say this is there could be a lean on the property and if your offer price does not cover the expenses then the contractor could come into your new home and rip out all the work he's done.
9. Put in your lowest offer first. Do not worry about offending the seller, if they are offended then you can always put in a second, higher offer. You can increase your offer but you can never go down in your offer so keep that in mind. You can also change the amount of closing costs your asking for and not go up on your offer price. Before putting in an offer ask your realtor to pull up comps in the area, this will help you determine if the asking price is way too high or just right.
10. Always have an inspection done on the house and be there when the inspection is taking place. Inspections can point out possible repairs or problems with the house. Inspections also allow you to learn about the house you're buying. Our inspector pointed out that we may want to consider putting locks on the crawl spaces for when kids come along. We never would have thought of that. Our inspector also pointed out the main cut off switches for our house.
11. Once you have the inspection report, review it, ask questions if you don't understand something, and negotiate with the sellers to fix all or some of the problems in the report. We asked the sellers of our house to fix 3 out of 5 things that the inspector pointed out. They were easy, very inexpensive repairs, but it saved us the time, trouble, and money to not have to fix it after we moved in.
12. This one may seem like common sense, but make your list of "must haves" and "would be nice but not deal breakers" lists prior to meeting with your realtor. These lists will really help your realtor find potential houses for you to look at.
There are lots of other tips I could share with you, but these are the main tips I think are important when buying a house.
Friday, September 17, 2010
3 Year Anniversary
Yesterday was our 3 year dating anniversary! It was a very chaotic day for both of us. I had to travel to Fayetteville for work and Nick had a job interview from 9:45 until 2. My day did not get off to a great start. The fog was very thick at 6:45 when I left my house so I could hardly see and with battling with my GPS, trying to use windshield wipers and defrost to see, and trying not to crash the State car, I was not positive the day would turn out as planned. After figuring out I was going the wrong way, North instead of South, I was anxious to get to Fayetteville on time. It's amazing to me how a GPS tells you to turn the wrong way when it's suppose to direct you to your destination. I think our GPS frequently does that because it really often loses signal. Moving on to when my day got better - Nick and I met up at Firebirds in North Hills for dinner to celebrate our anniversary! We were both dressed up and relieved and excited to see each other. My day was crazy and not how I had planned the day to go and Nick was relieved to have the interview behind him so when we finally saw each other (1.5 hours after we planned on meeting up) we were excited. Dinner was good. We used a gift card we received as a wedding present. In 3 years of being together I must say I have learned a lot - a lot about life, a lot about myself and about Nick, and a lot about relationships. Here's just a few things I've learned in the last 3 years. 1) Never go to bed angry! This has been a hard lesson for us to learn and we still have not mastered it. When I go to bed angry I always have a bad dream and it usually involves us breaking up or him cheating on me. Needless to say gong to bed angry makes for a very bad morning. After a bad dream like that, I wake up feeling even more angry than the night before. Anger can grow over time if the conflict is not resolved. That brings me to my next lesson. 2) It's important to learn how to settle arguments. Nick likes to retreat and take a breather when he's angry or frustrated. Me on the other hand wants attention to be drawn to the conflict right away. I don't want to retreat, I want to talk it out right then. If I'm upset, frustrated, sad, or angry I want to talk it out and very quickly reach a compromise and feel better. If someone hurts my feelings, I want to be over it really quickly so I want the person that hurt me to apologize right away so I can feel better. Everyone has their own way of resolving conflict. For me it's important that we reach a compromise or agree to disagree. I also need to hear "I'm sorry." 3) It's important to learn your partner's love language. Nick and I both love to receive quality time. At this point with no kids it's easy to make time for one another. We have date nights where we watch a redbox movie, play board games, or go out to eat. We like cooking together and watching movies. I also need to hear words of affirmation to know that I am loved. This can be hard for Nick since it's not natural for a guy to express his feelings. We are really good at telling each other that we appreciate each other and we very often say "I love you." To make it easier on Nick, almost every night before we go to sleep I ask "what was your favorite thing about today?" I ask because usually the answer makes me feel good and it lets me know whether or not he's satisfied with the quality time for the day or if we didn't get to spend any time together. 4) Communication is learned. I thought I knew how to communicate before we got married but now I'm starting to think I had no clue! Looking back now it's kinda funny but when we first got married there were many times our lack of communication was obvious! One day we left the apartment to go see a couch from off Craiglist. We had taken money out of the bank to buy the couch but when we got about 5 miles away, I asked, "did you bring the money?" And Nick answered, "no I thought you grabbed it." I hadn't grabbed the money and I hadn't asked him to bring it. It really made me laugh that neither one of us thought to ask the other about the money until after we left. We are becoming better communicators. I'm learning to never assume that something is a given or of course he would think of that because I would. No, Nick does not think like me and I shouldn't expect him to. And my last lesson to you is pray together. Nick and I were really good about praying together when we first started dating but as time went on and we got busy and more comfortable in our relationship, praying together became less of a priority. I'm ashamed to say that but it's the truth. Since we've been married prayer is a bigger priority for us. We try really hard to do our devotional together and pray together before bed. It doesn't always happen, but we try. The biggest thing is not forgetting and not letting excuses, like I'm too tired, get in the way. Simply by praying together you are brought closer together. Prayer also makes it easier for me to trust God.
I am extremely thankful that God brought us together 3 years ago!
I am extremely thankful that God brought us together 3 years ago!
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